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Has all the nicey nicey Christmas stuff got your guff? How about rebelling and pulling on a decidedly indecent jumper that will have your straight laced rellies all a-twitter? And don’t worry about being put on Santa’s bad list for wearing your naughty knit. Us little elves at Merry Christmas Jumpers have got the inside scoop when it comes to the big man and we know he’s prone to a bit of naughtiness himself (just check out some of the jumpers here if you need any proof!). Be it just a bit rude, out-there crude or down right lewd, we’ll help you get your Christmas mits on something risqué to cover your tits (oops! Did we just say that?!)
Universal Jurassic World Naughty List Christmas Jumper T Shirt, Black
Best deployed on people who already know what you are like. Fit for its one fortnight of the year.
Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal Jumper
Best deployed on people who already know what you are like. "Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal", printed large, no further context given.
Jurassic World T-Rex Christmas Naughty List Kids T Shirt, Navy
Rude, and making no attempt to be anything else. "Jurassic World" — someone was pleased with that, and fair enough.
Too Cute For Santa's Naughty List Embroidered Personalised Sweatshirt Jumper
Embroidered rather than printed, and personalised, so the defence is both specific and permanent. Whether it holds up is between the wearer and Santa.
Naughty List Christmas Jumper, Black Sweatshirt
Cheerfully filthy. Read the room before the office party. The colourway is Black Sweatshirt, and it does most of the talking.
Men's Totally On The Naughty List Christmas Jumper
Declares the position openly rather than waiting to be found out. Refreshing, in its way.
Glitter 'Naughty' Santa Hat Christmas Jumper
A glitter Santa hat and the word "naughty", working together towards a single obvious conclusion.
'Naughty Or Nice' Sleeve Christmas Jumper Sweatshirt
The sleeve settles the naughty-or-nice question so you do not have to. Mercifully, it does not show its workings.
Relaxed Novelty Filthy Animal Knitted Christmas Jumper
Cheerfully filthy. Read the room before the office party. It says "Filthy Animal", and it is not going to elaborate.
Plus Ya Filthy Animal Christmas Jumper
Best deployed on people who already know what you are like. "Plus Ya Filthy Animal" — and that is the whole of it.
Maleficent Christmas Naughty List Sweatshirt
Cheerfully filthy. Read the room before the office party. The whole idea is "Naughty List". It lands or it does not.
Donald Duck Vintage Naughty List Christmas T-Shirt, Burgundy
Rude, and making no attempt to be anything else. Comes in Shirt, Burgundy, which reads as deliberate rather than accidental.
Relaxed Novelty Filthy Animal Knitted Christmas Jumper
A relaxed fit, which is the right call for a jumper that is already doing quite a lot of shouting. Knitted rather than printed, so it survives the washing machine and the following year.
Plus Ya Filthy Animal Christmas Jumper
Best deployed on people who already know what you are like. "Plus Ya Filthy Animal" is the entire pitch, and honestly that is plenty.
Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal Jumper
The Home Alone line, which has been doing this job every December since 1990 and shows no sign of retiring. Knitted, so it keeps saying it long after you have stopped.
Christmas hat thong
Nothing to see here! Christmas hat to cover your Xmas balls and sleigh. Add some festive cheer to your pants draw. 100% polyester …. don’t waggle your dongle near any naked flames!
Enjoy cock t-shirt
We don’t think you’ll ever be able to look at a Coke Christmas advert in quite the same way after seeing this t-shirt on Etsy. Oh … the holidays are coming … du du du du du de, du du dooo!
Ho Ho Hold my beer
Have a holly jolly Christmas with this fun festive sweatshirt. Featuring a grey ‘ho ho hold my beer’ Santa graphic on front, long sleeves and a classic crew neck.
I LOVE Christmas
We love Christmas. We know you do too! So say it in style this Crimbo with this “Jolly as Luck” Christmas sweatshirt. Cotton blend, Unisex jumper.
Pole dancer rude Christmas jumper
‘cos I’m sexy and you snow it! Pole dancing reindeer available in red or navy. More funny than rude, knitted Christmas sweatshirt.
Naked rude Christmas sweatshirt
Rude, ugly Christmas sweater. Cotton and Polyester long-sleeve unisex sweatshirt. A number of designs to be picked from.
Boob design ugly Christmas jumper
Boob-tastic reindeer design ugly Christmas sweater on Amazon. 10 other alternative rude and funny designs are available.
Naked funny christmas jumper
Ugly Christmas unisex sweater on Amazon.
“Merry Christmas You Filthy Animal” !
Funny Christmas jumper in white, red, green and black. Scoop neckline. Standard and Plus sizes available.
Tinsel tits rude jumper
“Tinsel tits” design Christmas jumper on a base colour of pink, lilac or white. Fair Isle design with oh-so-subtle detail.
Get stuffed funny Christmas jumper
Get “stuffed” this Christmas. If you’re lucky enough to find a turkey to cook in this post-Brexit apocalypse, make sure to wear this jumper and look like a right turkey.
“Jingle my bells” naughty Christmas jumper
Naughty slogan jumper from Boohoo in navy.
“Festive as F#ck” rude slogan Christmas jumper
Sleighs, reindeer and #snowflakes. Rude as they come festive knit from Booho in navy.
Tits the season slogan jumper
Tis the season to be wearing a rude Christmas jumper from the SloganCo team on Etsy.
“Like a Virgin” design Christmas jumper
An ugly Christmas party jumper show-stopper.
Nipple tassel design rude party jumpers
OMG! matching nipple tassel design rude Christmas jumpers.
Big black **** – chicken design sweatshirt
Not strictly for Christmas, this rude themed jumper could be worn all through the year to any poultry based event or get together. It will look great dressed up or down, or over your silk PJs…..
Will F*ck for cookies offensive Christmas sweatshirt
The sweatshirt that has it all; Sophisticated Santa design, subtle colours and a message representing the true meaning of Christmas. Only for the brave! Long-sleeved, crewneck sweatshirt. 80% Cotton, 20% Polyester
“Well Hung” Ugly Christmas Sweater
Be the Belle of the ugly Christmas sweater ball in this Etsy beauty! Subtle “Well hung” offensive Christmas design. Handmade. 100% Cotton. Lots of Sizes. Choose from colors Green, Red, Navy or Black
Jingle balls ugly rude Christmas jumper
Eye popping! Christmas jumper ideal for both men and women in a unisex fit sweatshirt. 100% cotton. Long sleeved. Machine washable.
Enjoy C*ock
Enjoy C*ck This Christmas sweatshirt. 100% cotton sweatshirt. Hand made – either hand pulled in the UK on a silk-screen or hand pressed with high quality vinyl design.
Merry Shitmas Mug
Put a smile on Scrooge’s face with the merry Shitmas mug. The perfect novelty Christmas gift this year.
Funny F-word Christmas Card
Send a smile and some f***ing Christmas cheer with this novelty Christmas card.
Nothing for you whore christmas jumper
Arghhhh. We love this naughty Christmas jumper but we can’t find anyone selling it online.