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…Overheard conversations in the run up to Christmas…
“It’s the Christmas office party next week. What d’ya think I should wear?” – “I’d go for something smart and plain…keep up business appearances.”
“Mum, its Christmas jumper day at school next week.” – “well, we’ll find you something nice and tasteful to wear, dear.”
“I’ve no idea what to get crazy-cousin-Chris for Christmas this year.” – “He seemed to like those grey socks you gave him last year.”
…NAAAH!!! Only joking! You would categorically never, ever…ever hear any of the above conversations (at least not from anyone vaguely worth knowing!). And why is that? Simple, because those conversations are boring and have totally missed the point of Christmas and the now Traditional As Turkey Christmas Jumper. The whole point of our well-loved Christmas knit, its whole raison d’être, is to be FUN, and therefore also frequently FUNNY.
If your selection criteria for your Christmas jumper is that it makes you look ‘sexy’, ‘reem’, or ‘sophisticated’, then you need our help in resetting your Christmas knit-o-meter. There’s a whole 11 months of the year when dressing cool gets you cred, and then there’s Christmas-jumper-ember (aka December) when dressing funny wins points. And in our (fairly expert) opinion, when it comes to Christmas jumpers, the funnier, the better. Enter into the spirit of the Crimbo knit – let it bring you and others festive happiness by making folk laugh.
You’ll be spoilt for a gag-tastic choice on the jumper front this year … depending on what makes you smile and who you’re hanging out with from gentle, good-natured Christmas humour that’s suitable for Christmas dinner with Gran to more slap-stick comedy that’ll be sure to get a good laugh from the lads in the pub.
And if you can’t decide on your funny Christmas jumper for this festive season, why not take things a step further and just wear an inflatable turkey suit? We can’t think of anything much funnier than that!
So whether you want the year’s best meme or an inflatable turkey suit (stranger things have happened), you’ll find it here. There’s plenty to choose from too, on a wide scale of funny; from a chuckle from nan to roaring laughter from the boys at the pub – there’s humour to be had for all. Christmas jumpers are fun – so make your jumper funny this year and be more jolly than the big guy himself.
Snowman Christmas Novelty Sweatshirt
A snowman, briefly, as snowmen are. Mid-range, so no agonising required.
Snowman Christmas Novelty T-Shirt
A snowman with a carrot nose and no notes. Short sleeves, for buildings with the heating set to August.
Snowman Embellished Novelty Christmas Sweatshirt
A snowman, briefly, as snowmen are. No notes.
Santa Novelty Glasses Novelty Christmas Fancy Dress up Costume Accessories Xmas Party
Santa's face, large, directly on your front. Full-length festive, no coordinating required.
Sequin Bauble Novelty Sweatshirt
Glitter-adjacent and entirely unrepentant about it. Straightforward, and all the better for it.
Sequin Snowman Novelty Jumper
A snowman with a carrot nose and no notes. A jumper, in the proper sense of the word.
Reindeer 'Merry Xmas' Novelty Jumper
Antlers, knitted, at roughly chest height. It says "Reindeer 'Merry", and it is not going to elaborate.
Polka Dot Penguin Novelty Jumper
A penguin doing nothing at all, beautifully. It says "Polka Dot Penguin", and it is not going to elaborate.
Novelty Christmas Hats
Plain festive, which has its own quiet appeal. Priced about where you would expect, which is reassuring.
Pack of 10 Novelty Christmas Hat Set
Seasonal, no further explanation offered. A dress, so the whole outfit is settled in one decision.
Pack of 4 Novelty Christmas Hat Set
Festive, functional, no further claims made. Full-length festive, no coordinating required.
Pack of 5 Novelty Christmas Hat Set
Does the seasonal job without auditioning for attention. Priced about where you would expect, which is reassuring. Reads as festive from across a room, which is the whole job.
Navy Novelty Christmas Jumper
Plain festive, which has its own quiet appeal. A jumper, in the proper sense of the word. The sort of thing that gets borrowed and not returned.
MS Santa Hat with Plaits & Ribbon Santa Claus Fancy Dress Fun Party Accessories Novelty Xmas
Father Christmas, rendered with real commitment. A dress, so the whole outfit is settled in one decision.
Mens Christmas Jumper for Teenagers Warm Cosy Sweatshirt Funny Xmas
Instantly placeable from the other end of the office. It says "Teenagers Warm Cosy", and it is not going to elaborate.
Mens Christmas Turkey Pyjama Set Blue Medium Funny Festive Winter
The turkey, looking rather more cheerful than the day warrants. No notes.
Hat Novelty Plush Christmas Santa Hat Costume Christmas Fancy Dress Party Xmas Office Fun Headwear Accessories Reindeer
A reindeer with its mind entirely elsewhere. Wearable, which is more than half the battle in December.
Hat Novelty Plush Christmas Santa Stuck in Chimney Hat Costume Christmas Fancy Dress Party Xmas Office Fun
Father Christmas, rendered with real commitment. A dress, so the whole outfit is settled in one decision. One of those that photographs better than it has any right to.
Hat Novelty Plush Christmas Turkey Gobler Hat Costume Christmas Fancy Dress Party Xmas Office Fun
A turkey that has clearly made peace with the whole business. Fit for its one fortnight of the year.
Christmas Jumper Warm Funny Xmas Sweater Pullover Top
Christmas-adjacent, and content to stay there. "Warm Funny", printed large, no further context given.
Christmas Novelty T-Shirt
The straightforward end of the Christmas shelf. Fit for its one fortnight of the year.
Christmas Slogan Sweatshirt
Says the thing. Says it loudly. Priced about where you would expect, which is reassuring.
Acid Wash 'Feral & Festive' Novelty T-Shirt
Plain festive, which has its own quiet appeal. Goes in hard on "Acid Wash 'Feral".
10 Novelty Christmas Hats
Festive, functional, no further claims made. Straightforward, and all the better for it.
10 Pack of Novelty Christmas Hats
Festive, and doing the job without fuss. Wearable, which is more than half the battle in December.
4 Pack Novelty Christmas Hat Set
The straightforward end of the Christmas shelf. Priced about where you would expect, which is reassuring.
5 Pack Novelty Christmas Hat Set
Does the seasonal job without auditioning for attention. Mid-range, so no agonising required.
'A Festive Moo-d' Highland Cow Novelty T-Shirt
Seasonal, no further explanation offered. Priced about where you would expect, which is reassuring.
'Capy Christmas' Glitter Novelty Sweatshirt
This one catches the light from across the room, deliberately. Leads with "'Capy Christmas' Glitter" and trusts you to do the rest.
'Christmas Tart' Slogan T-Shirt
Says the thing. Says it loudly. Fit for its one fortnight of the year.
'Christmas Wishlist' Novelty Relaxed T-Shirt
Honest festive stuff: no gimmick, no apology. A t-shirt, for the overheated end of the office.
'Dashing Dancing and Prancing' Novelty Christmas T-Shirt
Knows exactly what it is for. Fit for its one fortnight of the year.
'Merry Christmas' Cocktail Glitter Novelty Sweatshirt
This one catches the light from across the room, deliberately. No notes.
'Merry Christmas' Novelty T-Shirt
Festive, and doing the job without fuss. A t-shirt, for the overheated end of the office.
'Merry Christmas' Penguin Glitter Novelty T-Shirt
Penguins: formal dress, no effort required. It is what it looks like, which is a compliment.
'Merry Christmas' Sequin Heart Novelty Sweatshirt
Glitter-adjacent and entirely unrepentant about it. Softer than a knit and twice as forgiving.
'Merry Christmas' Snowman Novelty Sweatshirt
A snowman, briefly, as snowmen are. "'Merry Christmas' Snowman" — and that is the whole of it.
'Santa Baby' Novelty Jumper
Santa's face, large, directly on your front. Straightforward, and all the better for it.
Spirit Is Loading Funny Christmas Jumper
Made to order with your wording on it, for better or worse. The whole idea is "Spirit Is Loading Funny". It lands or it does not.
Spritzy Bit Tipsy Slogan Christmas Sweatshirt
A slogan jumper that gets its joke out in four words. The whole idea is "Spritzy Bit Tipsy Slogan". It lands or it does not.
Sprouts Varsity Slogan Christmas Sweatshirt
Sprouts. On purpose. In public. Goes in hard on "Sprouts Varsity Slogan".
Straight Outta Compton Style Lapland Funny Christmas Jumper
Christmas knitwear of the straightforward sort. Priced about where you would expect, which is reassuring.
Tees The Season Funny Golf Christmas Jumper, Green Sweatshirt
Personalisation: the cheapest way to make a jumper unarguably yours. Green Sweatshirt — festive without going full grotto.
Reinbeers Funny Christmas Jumper, Black Sweatshirt
Add a name and it stops being generic, which is the point. Comes in Black Sweatshirt, which reads as deliberate rather than accidental.
Pigs In Blankets Slogan Varsity Christmas Sweatshirt
Says the thing. Says it loudly. Goes in hard on "Pigs In Blankets Slogan Varsity".
Prosecco Pun Christmas Jumper
Festive, and quite open about where the afternoon is heading. "Prosecco Pun", printed large, no further context given.
Official Mince Pie Tester Slogan Christmas Sweatshirt
A slogan jumper that gets its joke out in four words. "Official Mince Pie Tester Slogan" is the entire pitch, and honestly that is plenty.
Mens Christmas Novelty Reindeer Bum Tshirt
Antlers, knitted, at roughly chest height. Leads with "Reindeer Bum Tshirt" and trusts you to do the rest.