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…Overheard conversations in the run up to Christmas…
“It’s the Christmas office party next week. What d’ya think I should wear?” – “I’d go for something smart and plain…keep up business appearances.”
“Mum, its Christmas jumper day at school next week.” – “well, we’ll find you something nice and tasteful to wear, dear.”
“I’ve no idea what to get crazy-cousin-Chris for Christmas this year.” – “He seemed to like those grey socks you gave him last year.”
…NAAAH!!! Only joking! You would categorically never, ever…ever hear any of the above conversations (at least not from anyone vaguely worth knowing!). And why is that? Simple, because those conversations are boring and have totally missed the point of Christmas and the now Traditional As Turkey Christmas Jumper. The whole point of our well-loved Christmas knit, its whole raison d’être, is to be FUN, and therefore also frequently FUNNY.
If your selection criteria for your Christmas jumper is that it makes you look ‘sexy’, ‘reem’, or ‘sophisticated’, then you need our help in resetting your Christmas knit-o-meter. There’s a whole 11 months of the year when dressing cool gets you cred, and then there’s Christmas-jumper-ember (aka December) when dressing funny wins points. And in our (fairly expert) opinion, when it comes to Christmas jumpers, the funnier, the better. Enter into the spirit of the Crimbo knit – let it bring you and others festive happiness by making folk laugh.
You’ll be spoilt for a gag-tastic choice on the jumper front this year … depending on what makes you smile and who you’re hanging out with from gentle, good-natured Christmas humour that’s suitable for Christmas dinner with Gran to more slap-stick comedy that’ll be sure to get a good laugh from the lads in the pub.
And if you can’t decide on your funny Christmas jumper for this festive season, why not take things a step further and just wear an inflatable turkey suit? We can’t think of anything much funnier than that!
So whether you want the year’s best meme or an inflatable turkey suit (stranger things have happened), you’ll find it here. There’s plenty to choose from too, on a wide scale of funny; from a chuckle from nan to roaring laughter from the boys at the pub – there’s humour to be had for all. Christmas jumpers are fun – so make your jumper funny this year and be more jolly than the big guy himself.
Stripe Slogan Christmas Jumper
Says the thing. Says it loudly. The whole idea is "Stripe Slogan". It lands or it does not.
Plus Merry Slogan Christmas Oversized Jumper
A slogan jumper that gets its joke out in four words. Goes in hard on "Plus Merry Slogan".
Plus Merry Slogan Cropped Christmas Jumper
Says the thing. Says it loudly. "Plus Merry Slogan Cropped", printed large, no further context given.
Merry Slogan Cropped Christmas Jumper
Says the thing. Says it loudly. The whole idea is "Merry Slogan Cropped". It lands or it does not.
Festive Christmas Novelty Jumper
A Christmas jumper that knows exactly what it is for. One piece, over the head, done.
Crew Neck Novelty Fairisle Christmas Jumper
Fair Isle knit — the grown-up end of the Christmas jumper shelf. "Crew Neck" is the entire pitch, and honestly that is plenty.
Reindeer 'Merry Xmas' Novelty Jumper
The reindeer, mid-plod, as reindeer are. "Reindeer 'Merry" — someone was pleased with that, and fair enough.
Relaxed Fit Novelty Knitted Christmas Jumper
Christmas in the usual places, done without fuss. No notes.
Relaxed Fit Novelty Nutcracker Knitted Christmas Jumper
A nutcracker, mid-march, going nowhere in particular. Fit for its one fortnight of the year.
Relaxed Fit Novelty Single Knitted Christmas Jumper
Christmas in the usual places, done without fuss. Wearable, which is more than half the battle in December.
Relaxed Novelty Filthy Animal Knitted Christmas Jumper
A relaxed fit, which is the right call for a jumper that is already doing quite a lot of shouting. Knitted rather than printed, so it survives the washing machine and the following year.
Relaxed Novelty Slogan Knitted Christmas Jumper
A slogan jumper that gets its joke out in four words. Straightforward, and all the better for it.
Sequin Bauble Novelty Sweatshirt
Glitter-adjacent and entirely unrepentant about it. The whole idea is "Sequin Bauble". It lands or it does not.
Sequin Slogan Christmas Jumper
Sequins, in quantity, with no apology offered. "Sequin Slogan" — and that is the whole of it.
Sequin Slogan Stripe Christmas Jumper
This one catches the light from across the room, deliberately. "Sequin Slogan Stripe" is the entire pitch, and honestly that is plenty.
Sequin Snowman Novelty Jumper
A snowman with a carrot nose and no notes. "Sequin Snowman" — and that is the whole of it.
Snowman Christmas Novelty Sweatshirt
A snowman with a carrot nose and no notes. Sweatshirt weight, so it survives the whole of December.
Snowman Christmas Novelty T-Shirt
A snowman, briefly, as snowmen are. Wearable, which is more than half the battle in December.
Snowman Embellished Novelty Christmas Sweatshirt
A snowman, briefly, as snowmen are. The whole idea is "Snowman Embellished". It lands or it does not.
Stripe Slogan Christmas Jumper
A slogan jumper that gets its joke out in four words. Leads with "Stripe Slogan" and trusts you to do the rest.
Navy Novelty Christmas Jumper
Christmas-adjacent, and content to stay there. No notes.
Plus Merry Slogan Christmas Oversized Jumper
A slogan jumper that gets its joke out in four words. Leads with "Plus Merry Slogan" and trusts you to do the rest.
Plus Merry Slogan Cropped Christmas Jumper
A slogan jumper that gets its joke out in four words. Goes in hard on "Plus Merry Slogan Cropped".
Polka Dot Penguin Novelty Jumper
A penguin in a scarf, which is both unnecessary and completely correct. The whole idea is "Polka Dot Penguin". It lands or it does not.
Glitter Christmas Tree Novelty Sweatshirt
A Christmas tree, baubles and all, worn rather than decorated. Nothing clever going on, and nothing needs to be.
Glitter Christmas Tree Novelty T-Shirt
The tree, fully trimmed, on a garment. Wearable, which is more than half the battle in December.
Merry Slogan Cropped Christmas Jumper
Says the thing. Says it loudly. "Merry Slogan Cropped" — someone was pleased with that, and fair enough.
Christmas Tree Novelty T-Shirt
A Christmas tree, baubles and all, worn rather than decorated. Wearable, which is more than half the battle in December.
Crew Neck Novelty Fairisle Christmas Jumper
Fair Isle: the pattern that was festive before festive was a category. Goes in hard on "Crew Neck".
Embellished Christmas Tree Novelty T-Shirt
The tree, fully trimmed, on a garment. Priced about where you would expect, which is reassuring.
Checked Christmas Tree Novelty Jumper
A Christmas tree, baubles and all, worn rather than decorated. It is what it looks like, which is a compliment.
Christmas Novelty T-Shirt
Festive, functional, no further claims made. A t-shirt, for the overheated end of the office.
Christmas Slogan Sweatshirt
Says the thing. Says it loudly. It is what it looks like, which is a compliment.
'Capy Christmas' Glitter Novelty Sweatshirt
A capybara in glitter, which is the single most 2026 sentence in this catalogue. The capybara, as ever, appears entirely unbothered.
'Christmas Tart' Slogan T-Shirt
Says the thing. Says it loudly. It says "Tart' Slogan", and it is not going to elaborate.
'Christmas Wishlist' Novelty Relaxed T-Shirt
Honest festive knitwear: no gimmick, no apology. Fit for its one fortnight of the year.
'Dashing Dancing and Prancing' Novelty Christmas T-Shirt
A Christmas jumper that knows exactly what it is for. "'Dashing Dancing and Prancing'" — someone was pleased with that, and fair enough.
'Merry Christmas' Cocktail Glitter Novelty Sweatshirt
Sequins, in quantity, with no apology offered. Leads with "Cocktail Glitter" and trusts you to do the rest.
'Merry Christmas' Novelty T-Shirt
Christmas knitwear of the straightforward sort. A t-shirt, for the overheated end of the office.
'Merry Christmas' Penguin Glitter Novelty T-Shirt
Penguins: formal dress, no effort required. "Penguin Glitter", printed large, no further context given.
'Merry Christmas' Sequin Heart Novelty Sweatshirt
A sequin heart on sweatshirt fleece — the comfort of loungewear with the light output of a disco ball. An unexpectedly sensible combination.
'Merry Christmas' Snowman Novelty Sweatshirt
A snowman with a carrot nose and no notes. Straightforward, and all the better for it.
'Santa Baby' Novelty Jumper
Santa, at the size and volume you would expect. They will not remember this. The photographs will.
Acid Wash 'Feral & Festive' Novelty T-Shirt
Seasonal knit, no further explanation offered. The whole idea is "Acid Wash 'Feral". It lands or it does not.
Novelty Borg Sweatshirt Set-Navy Penguin
A penguin doing nothing at all, beautifully. Navy Penguin — festive without going full grotto.
Novelty Cotton Knitted Jacket-Snowman
A snowman with a carrot nose and no notes. Priced about where you would expect, which is reassuring.
Novelty Knitted Play Set-Gingerbread Man
A gingerbread man with the expression of someone who knows how this ends. Gingerbread Man: a nicer set of colours than a Christmas jumper strictly needs.
'A Festive Moo-d' Highland Cow Novelty T-Shirt
A Christmas jumper that knows exactly what it is for. Wearable, which is more than half the battle in December.