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Has all the nicey nicey Christmas stuff got your guff? How about rebelling and pulling on a decidedly indecent jumper that will have your straight laced rellies all a-twitter? And don’t worry about being put on Santa’s bad list for wearing your naughty knit. Us little elves at Merry Christmas Jumpers have got the inside scoop when it comes to the big man and we know he’s prone to a bit of naughtiness himself (just check out some of the jumpers here if you need any proof!). Be it just a bit rude, out-there crude or down right lewd, we’ll help you get your Christmas mits on something risqué to cover your tits (oops! Did we just say that?!)
Jingle my bells!
The same bells, with an exclamation mark.
Men’s Super Excited Snowman rude Christmas jumper
A snowman rather too pleased about the weather.
Merry F*cking Christmas offensive jumper
The same sentiment, filed under offensive, which is fair.
Men’s Red Rocket Rudolph Naughty Ugly Sweater in Blue
Rudolph, with his nose relocated. Blue, for what that is worth.
What Are You Getting This Christmas Mummy?
A question nobody wanted asked at the table.
There’ll be no presents for you this year!
A threat, delivered in knitwear.
Men’s Rude Rudolph Dingleberries Christmas Sweater in Green
A word you will wish you had not looked up.
Where my hos at offensive christmas jumper
A carol lyric, deliberately misheard.
North pole rude jumper
A pole joke, which was inevitable.
“Jingle my bells” rude christmas jumper
The bells joke, which this category will never tire of.
Piste off jumper
Skiing, and being annoyed, combined into one word.
You aint getting sh*t jumper
View Christmas Jumpers on the Boohoo website
Yo …. Where my ho’s at?
The same misunderstanding, with more punctuation.
Go pluck yourself!
A pun on plucking, aimed squarely at the turkey.
Turkey suit
We hope you get a really good stuffing this crimbo!
Believe it b*thes! Santa sweatshirt
Belief, asserted with some force.
Mrs Claus rude jumper
Mrs Claus, with opinions.
It’s not going to lick itself
It is not, and the jumper is right about that.
I’m not Santa but you can still sit on my lap
An offer, extended. Decline politely.
Tis the season to be mating
The season, slightly rewritten.
Your present is under the tree
Santa has left you a shiny present under the tree. Is it a chocolate? Have a nibble and see.
Don’t forget to eat your carrot
A reminder about the carrot, which does get forgotten.
Holly sh*t
holly sh*t, it’s nearly christmas! so grab your slice of the action in this sassy slogan jumper this party season. with it’s snug and cosy fit, wear on christmas day with leggings (to make room for dinner) and be sure to wear your christmas jumper loud and proud!
Once a year ….
Once a year Santa get’s his sack out, rude xmas jumper
Who’s a Game bird?
A game bird, and a question that answers itself.
“Enjoy C*ck this Christmas” rude Christmas jumper
Blunt, and pleased with itself.
Tinsel Date funny jumper
“Santa? Are you winking at me, or, is that your twinky winking?”
Naughty boy
Who me?! I am a VERY good boy indeed-y.
Naughty Santa jumper
Santa, behaving as advertised.
All aboard to lapland
Mrs Claus loves to bust some moves in this jumper, the elves seem very interested to see her jiggle around the candy pole.
Naughty list jumper
Well there’s an offer ladies – innuendo jumper on Amazon.
Wasted jumper
Get this jumper, get down the boozer and get it on. When you’re stumbling around on the high street in the early hours, you won’t even need to speak because your jumper will say it all.
Who’s been a naughty boy?
Santa has – the dirty dog. Give Santa a good spanking in this rude jumper. We reckon it will be a top-seller on Amazon this year.
Merry F*cking Christmas
Oh how rude! Mix up some street, skater casual with Christmas rudeness this crimbo. Go on, tell them how it is.
Flashing Santa
Looks like Santa has lost his sack. Oh no, there it is! Rude Santa Christmas jumper.
Santa pooping rude Christmas jumper
Santa voice : “Now boys and girls, have you been good this year? … because it is reckoning time.” No matter how cold it gets this year no one wants a snow dump.
In-your-endo Bingo
No subtleties with this seasonal rude jumper – “Save trees this Xmas, Eat Beaver”
Find me under the Christmas saucy jumper
Get Santa all in a fluster with this rude little number – find me under the Christmas tree sweater. Girl wearing a bobble hat and big bow on a red knitted jumper. Made in Britain.
Santa jumper dress
Make a bold statement – You need to need to not only be brave but also be incredibly warm blooded to wear this up at the North pole.
What a lovely pair of puds
Set your puds alight this Christmas with this lovely festive jumper. Get your hands on these beauties!
Merry Christmas ya filthy animal
Filthy festive fun with this cool and cosy knit. Available in a range of colours ya filthy animal!
Jingle my bells rude women’s jumper
Looking forward to bell ringing this Christmas? Then how’s about you wear this winter wonder to the local bell ringing session – grey jumper with a delightful festive message – you’re bound to pull!
Give a sh!t t-shirt
Give a sh!t for the big man this yule. That’s it – get it on your chest!
Pull me! Christmas cracker t-shirt
Go for subtle. Go for this t-shirt.
Jingle balls rude Christmas sweater
View on the Topman website
When I think of you I touch my Elf ….
I feel a festive boogie coming on. All together now …
Yellow snow Christmas jumper
Looks like Santa’s been on the lash and left his mark in the snow.
Rude Mrs Santa novelty Christmas jumper
Ooh er missus! You can baste my turkey this Christmas!!